Friday, February 17, 2012

A letter to Dr. Brown

Dear Dr. Brown,
     First, please allow me to thank you for your amazing baby bottles. The innovative design helped ease the colic of my oldest daughter and we had no issues when feeding my youngest. We have found all of your products to be of great quality and durability.
    All that being said, cleaning your internal venting system bottles has become the bane of my existence. Five pieces per bottle, are you f#@king kidding me? This means that every time my daughter eats (and it's often, she's hooked on the Similac) I have to wash five pieces? That means at an average of four bottles a day I am hand washing 20 small plastic and rubber pieces daily.
     I know, I make washing machine baskets...we have them. My issue is when we run out of bottles and don't need to run a full load of dishes. I seriously feel like I am washing bottles for half an hour. It's just me, the metal parts bowl we use and a boatload of empty, foul smelling sucks. 
     My assumption is that you have "doctor money" and a team of college interns to wash all of your bottles for you. I imagine you drink everything out of your bottles. A little Coke Zero with lunch? "Put it in a bottle." Extra Dirty Martini? "Throw that sumbitch in one of my bottles." I don't mind telling you that your pride is not thinly veiled. I Not that doctors are particularly known for being humble, but come on. Also, we could use a price break. We are still paying off the second mortgage we took out to outfit two children with your products.
     All I am asking is that you think about the average parent. Maybe look into developing a self cleaning bottle or cut the price a little. This shouldn't be too hard for you. I know you are smart. After all the work you and Marty did on the time machine, further developments to make parents' lives easier should be a breeze.
     Many thanks in advance.