Friday, January 10, 2014
Caution! Though she looks sweet and innocent, this child is a raging being of superhuman will primed to explode at a moment's notice. While normally happy and smiley, for no real reason whatsoever she will hurl shrieks, screams and tears at you kicking and undulating on the floor like some sort of banshee bent on the destruction of your very sanity.
Try not to make eye contact as her supply of alluring cuteness knows no end. She will unleash it at will completely undermining your ability to deny more chocolate milk, a second sucker or another ride on the carousel. Also known to crawl into your lap with blanket in hand and set up camp. If this happens, forget about your chances of ever being seen again and pray that someone notifies your next of kin.
Often seen in the company of Grandmothers who seem to strengthen her resolve. It is well know that the Grandmother species provides a steady supply of sugar and coddling. This is a partnership certain to result in exponential disaster and strengthening of inhuman tantrum resolve.
If cornered, we advise that you grant her wishes to be held, carried or read book after book after book after book...after book. Do not run, her facial features seem to have some sort of magnetic draw that has been found to be 100% irresistible. Despite reports or opinions to the contrary, this child is undeniably caught in the grips of the terrible twos.