Bright Side

In the past few years, I have yet to come across a sorrow that a little time with my girls could not drown. No matter how bad I can feel or how bad things seem, a warm heart is only a hug and a kiss away. I pray that everyone in this world could know the tranquility I know when I look in to the faces of my children.

Back to School

     Since the girls started back to preschool later than most, the pictures are coming later. This is old hat for Ruby (she'll just be going more days this year) but it is a brave new world for Sailor. On her first day I was expecting some wailing and gnashing of teeth but she was a trooper and did not even hug me goodbye. It was a little sad but with two days a week where they will both be gone I'll actually have a few hours to kill.

Ruby's Choice

     Earlier this week, Ruby was in The Reading Room (our hallway bathroom) and decided to look at the 2013 Harley-Davidson bikes book. I picked one of these up last time I was at the dealership and it has been sitting around the house ever since. Later the same day, Ru came up to me with the book and told me this was the motorcycle she wanted. It is a 2013 Sportster Forty-Eight, not a bad choice and understandable that she would like it as my current bike is built on the same platform.
     I have bene thinking ever since about what I will say and do when she gets older and the conversation becomes a little less make-believe and a little more real. I am sure as she grows into her teenage years (and begins to despise and dislike her parents and all that we enjoy and represent) that she will probably not want a bike anymore just on principle. In the event that she does, what will I say and how will I act? I know I could start her young on a mini-bike and let her grow into bigger bikes learning how to ride safely as she goes but the thought can be a bit scary.
     It is a hard decision for me, walking the line as a rider and as a father. I lost a good friend to a motorcycle accident in High School. I gamble it all every time I get on the road so I am not a stranger to the risks...and I am not sure I am willing to put it on the line when it comes to my children. I will not discourage them and I am thinking they'll get a lot of closed lot time. When they get on the road will be based on their ability and maturity as they get older if they want to pursue it.
     Every time something like this comes up I am reminded that even though they don't always seem like it, these are the easy times. With us providing a safety net and a lot of the decision making the girls are free to stumble and fall with little to no consequence. As they grow and the net slowly pulls out from under them, the work we do now will be that much more important and the stakes much, much higher. All we can do is give it our best. Here's to hoping the foundation sticks.

Popsicle Party

     Ru's school had a welcome back popsicle party this morning. All of Ru's classmates were there and they got a good chance to get reacquainted and spend a little time on the playground. She also got to see her new classroom. I went to the same preschool when I was a kid so it was kind of surreal. She is in the same room with the same teacher I had. Seeing it all again jogged my memory and made me relive things I had not thought about in quite some time.
     Sailor will also be attending this year. We are happy that the girls will both be going to the same school. Sailor will only be going 2 days a week for three hours per day but the socialization will be good for her. In an interesting twist, this will give me a couple weekdays where I have a few hours to myself. The lack of socialization for those hours will be really good for me.

Dogs

     There are a handful of dog, or puppy as the girls always say, stuffed animals in the house right now. They are on loan from GG but I fear the day she takes them back. These guys, which carry names from pets we had in the home I grew up in, have become pretty consistent companions and playmates for the girls. They don't always get called by the names GG gave them, sometimes being referred to as "Hooney" and "Booney" or other times as "Mommy" and "Daddy Puppy." They get roped into all sorts of play or sometimes just get to be a nap buddy. I wish I had a nickel for every time I heard the phrase "where's my puppy."
     Its crazy, the attachments children can build with things like this. Whether it is a stuffed animal or a blanket or a plastic toy, these girls seem to really connect emotionally to some of their things. I guess I shouldn't be surprised considering my childhood blanket and favorite bear are both still under my roof. To add to the attachment part, I'm still a little weary of letting the girls play with the latter unsupervised.

Good Advice

     Thanks to some awesome friends, olivia recently jumped feet first into the late 2000's with her first smart phone, an iphone 3gs. She is really stoked on it and like most smart phone folks, she is on it all the time. This past weekend, we went to a restaurant of Ruby's choosing for her birthday. She choose IHOP for their over-sized chocolate funny face pancake which, in case you've never had the good fortune of having one, comes covered in whip cream, cherries and chocolate chips.
     On our way home, olivia realized she was missing something...her new phone. I was bummed because even older iphones aren't normally the kind of things that get turned in and since hers is unlocked, it would be very easy for someone to grab it, insert a sim, and have a nice, gently used iphone. Using my cell, I looked up the number for the IHOP and olivia called. Luckily, the phone had made its way down into the seat cushions and the manager was able to grab it for us so we could go back and retrieve it.
     The whole event had me rather shaken. I just didn't like the thought of olivia losing this phone that we were fortunate to have just received. I just kind of clammed up on the hurried drive back to the restaurant. Ruby, concerned, asked me "Whats wrong dad?"
     I replied that I was just worried about Mommy's phone and still a little upset from the close call. She replied...
     "Its ok dad. The woman has Mommy's phone and its alright. Just chill."
     olivia and I were floored. Ru's comment made us laugh and took the stress right out of the situation. I don't know how these girls developed their habit of doing the right thing at just the right time but they sure can take the edge off. I wish I was better at her casual brand of optimism. I'm hoping it is contagious and that some will brush off on me.   
 

Toy Cars

     My Mom is awesome. She was very forward thinking and saved a TON of cool stuff from when I was young for my kids to have. That said, I am pretty sentimental and not always the best at letting things go. It is different for the things that I saved for the kids but when Mom unearths these treasures from my childhood and gives them to me...it can be hard for me to pass them to the girls.
     I've had these cars for several months. I let the girls play with them with supervision and they love them. I had let them each pick one to have but mostly they sit on the shelf above the computer. We've been doing a lot of cleaning out this week and the cars came up. olivia also has some things from when she was young that the girls play with now. She told me that when she sees them playing with them she gets a warm feeling inside and even though they are rough on them, its worth it. Besides, what is the alternative? There's no point in letting them sit, it is far time they were played with.
     For Christmas the girls got a really cool play mat with streets and buildings on it. I think the timing is just right so sometime soon, they are going to get more cars, trucks, construction vehicles, dune buggies, taxi cabs, etc to play with then they could ever imagine. I can't wait to see them in action again.

Reunion

     It is 3:37am on Sunday morning. I am typing this now so I don't have to think back on it later at which point I am sure I'll botch the details. An awesome friend from high school blew up my phone and made sure I went to my 15 year high school reunion and all I can say is it might just have been the best decision someone else made for me ever.
     To everyone who I saw that I haven't seen in years, it did my soul good to talk to you. Even the briefest moment was awesome. I drank and danced and acted like a total idiot. We partied like it was 1997 and for that time, anything that happened outside of the awkwardness of the pool and hot tub showroom we found ourselves in was completely irrelevant.
     How does this relate? There are a couple ways.
     No joke, people talked a lot about how awesome my wife and kids are without me starting the conversation. If you know them, it isn't hard to imagine. We thought before my snip that we'd have a promising future in producing beautiful babies and selling them on the black market but no kidding...someone else suggested this to me tonight. And all the complements about my wife...forget it.
     Secondly, I hope that one day my children have friendships and relationships that they can look back on so fondly. I worry that the generations after us may become so obsessed with technology and screen to screen vs. face to face communication that any true connection becomes obsolete. I literally saw two teenagers at the mall today and both of them were on seperate calls while they were walking "together." I know it has been 15 years and I am flirting with being an old fart but...really? Is this the future?
   
PS. I don't dance, any photos or video you saw on facebook or elsewhere on the net is photoshopped or done with cgi. Special thanks to the people who made this happen, well done. Also, to all the folks who knew about the party and missed it, you might have just skipped the best thing to happen to our class since '93-'97.

Wall Art

     It's funny to me how much has changed in the past year. When I first started this crazy stay at home gig, I was very intolerant of things like this and had a fuse so short you'd hear the bang before your foot got down on the first step away. Now, well I wouldn't encourage the kids to be drawing on the walls but I'm not going to flip my lid either.
     I've come to realize that kids are kids and they are going to be kids despite my best efforts. Things like this will happen. Walls will be written on, carpet and furniture will be stained, things will get broken, etc. They are my most prized possessions so as long as they are intact, I don't have much to worry about. I do understand that due to our laid-backness that we will likely find ourselves living with the girls on a pile of demolished rubble by the time they enter the teenage years.
     I took the magic eraser into her room the other day to clean the art off and I couldn't bring myself to do it. Something about it, oddly enough, just made me happy and proud. I think we'll leave it for awhile. Part of me thinks it will be a form of delayed punishment. I imagine that in her teenage years it will be kind of embarrassing for her, almost like we won't have to bother pulling out the baby photos.   

Anniversary Continued

So my mother-in-law took the girls Wednesday to Sunday leaving olivia and I alone to have some anniversary celebration time. We watched DVD's, drank beer, consumed countless coffees, ate quality food, bowled badly, caught up on sleep, read and in general just enjoyed the time together.

Thanks for all the Anniversary wishes, we had a great one.

Letting it go...

This post was inspired by this article, which I saw earlier in the week.

 

olivia and I have talked often about what we would do if the girls, despite our best efforts as parents, ended up engaged in activities or a lifestyle we were uncomfortable with. This includes, but is not limited to, choices that might not be so bad per se but maybe just not what we would hope for or prefer for them. The resolution we always seem to come back to is that as long as they are happy and not breaking the law or harming others (ie drugs, crime, violence) we will have to accept their choices despite our own feelings about them. In my house growing up, there was a wall hanging that said "There are two things we can give our children: one is roots, the other is wings." Acceptance is a large part of a loving relationship. I know one day we will have to let go of the expectations and dreams we have for our children's lives and let them chase their own.

I am glad we have time to work up to this, the thought right now is just too much.

What is your worst fear for your children and how would you handle it?